“Restoring the Joy”
A Study of the Book of Philippians
Lesson # 10
“Maintaining Joy in the Midst of Disagreement”
Phil 4:1-4
“In the late l800s there were just two
deacons in a small Baptist church in Mayfield County, Kentucky. One Sunday, one of the
deacons put up a small wooden peg in the back wall so the minister could hang up his hat.
When the other deacon discovered the peg, he was outraged that he had not been consulted.
Before long, the church took sides and eventually split. To this day, the story goes, you
can find in Mayfield County, Kentucky, the Anti-peg Baptist Church.” [Doyle Young. New Life For Your Church.
(p. 63)
Have you ever been a part of or at least a
bystander to a conflict within the church family? If you have you know how painful it can be.
Church’s actually split, friends divide, and competing sides charge each other with
being “Un-Christian.”
There are
many reasons why churches go through times of turmoil. Sometimes the issues are important
and involve the spiritual soundness of the church. Most of the time, however, the turmoil
is over petty and insignificant issues. Many churches have split over issues as simple as
the choice of a hymnbook or the color of the carpet.
These church
conflicts bring about deep scars in the body of Christ. And in the process our reputation
is stained in the community. In John 13:35 Jesus taught his disciples that they were to be
known by their love one for another. In the great Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5:23-24) told
his listeners that if one were at the altar and remembered something that someone had
against them they should leave their offering at the altar and go then and be reconciled
to their brother. Jesus knew that you can’t truly worship when you are at odds with a
brother or sister. In His high priestly prayer (John 17:21) Jesus prayed that his
followers “might be one.” It would appear obvious that God wants his
children to get along.
From the story before us today we can see four general principles concerning
“Maintaining Joy in
“Therefore, my
beloved and longed-for brethren, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, beloved.
(2) I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. (3) And I
urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with
Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life. (4)
Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
First, Conflict
Happens Even In Good Churches. Even in good churches you find brethren who have
differences with each other; such was the case with the church at Philippi.
As we
discovered last week Paul begins by telling the people of Philippi that they are his
joy and crown - (stephanos) literally a victor’s crown. He literally
views these Christians as his reward - his trophies of grace. He realizes that when he
stands before the Lord to give an account of his life, these whom he has won to the Lord,
will be tangible symbols of his spiritual work.
But there is a problem, there are thorns
in Paul’s crown and that thorn is disagreement among the brethren. Even as saved
members of the body of Christ, personalities are still going to clash, we still get our
feeling hurt and we have times when we are so overwhelmed with our lives that we are not
easy to get along with. People still disappoint us and we have different approaches to how
problems should be solved.
But the real problem comes from a loss
of perspective. A story is told that, “One day, a father
took his son and one of his son’s friends on a fishing trip. They got to their camp
site and everything was perfect. The weather was warm but not hot, the lake was calm, and
they even had a level campsite. They raised their tent, cooked their dinner, and went to
bed anticipating several day of great fishing. When they woke up the next morning they
discovered that a cold front had come through during the night. It was now in the low 40’s
and a cold wind was blowing. They stayed in their tent most of the day and occupied
themselves telling stories and playing silly games with one another to make the best of a
bad situation.
They went to bed that night hoping that
things would be better the next day. The next day was more of the same. Only now, it had
begun to rain. Once again they tried to wait it out and occupy themselves in the tent, But
by the end of the day, everyone was on edge and angry at one another. They decided to pack
up and head home. The moral of the story is they discovered that when fisherman don’t
fish they fight.” [Darryl McAuley. “Make
It Right” Sermon on Phil 4:1-4. www.SermonCentral.com ] That is also true of the church – when we are not busy doing
what we are suppose to be doing, we are a lot more susceptible to disagreement.
In verse
two of our text Paul says “I implore” (parakaleo)
and it literally means “to urge or to plea”. Note that the term is
repeated and applied equally to both parties, Paul treats them tenderly and equally. “I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche…” Paul
calls each of them by name, pleading with them to put aside their differences.
Our collective efforts as a body of
Christ are more important than our individual differences.
Not only Does Conflict Occur Even
In Good Churches but …
Secondly, Conflict
Has Consequences. There were two women, both of whom are committed Christians who
have worked side by side with Paul, who have had a disagreement and we have no idea what
they have disagreed about. I don’t think that it is an accident that Paul does not
tell us the specific problem, because then we could say well that’s not problem I
have.
Neither
does Paul indicate who he thinks is right and who is wrong, but rather he pleads for them
to “be of the same mind,” (v. 2b) or “to agree with each other in the Lord.” It would
seem that Paul is saying “for the sake of the Lord” they should
end this disagreement. Charles Swindoll observes, “When
disharmony arises between two people or two groups, there is some measure of fault on both
sides. Both parties must be encouraged to see each other’s fault, each other’s
failure … and meet on common ground with a mutual willingness to listen and change.”
[Charles
Swindoll. “Laugh Again.” (Dallas: Word Pub, 1991) p. 183]
When Christian’s fight several
things happen,
First, It is destroys the
relationship between them. The two women are identified by name; Eudias
- which literally means “fragrance” and Syntyche - which
literally means “fortunate.” These women have a problem that is alienating them
from each other and had the potential to harmful the fellowship as a whole.
Secondly, It
is disrupts the unity of the church.
“There is a church in Louisiana whose roof
is green on one side and red on the other. This was done because some members of the
church adamantly wanted green and other members adamantly wanted red. The disagreement was
so intense that the church was going to split because of it. Fortunately, a compromise was
reached and the church did not split. Unfortunately, the red and green roof is a monument
to the surrounding community of the disunity within the body of Christ.” [www.biblehelp.org/splits.htm]
Third, It is
displays a bad example to a lost world. Although some conflict is inevitable, when
human being work together, unfortunately all too often these differences of opinion
escalate in full-scale warfare. In a parable she entitles “A Brawling Bride” Karen Mains vividly describes
a suspenseful moment in a wedding ceremony. “Down front
stands the groom in a spotless tuxedo - handsome, smiling, full of anticipation, shoes
shined, every hair in place, anxiously awaiting the presence of the bride. All the attendants are in place, looking joyful
and attractive. The magical moment finally arrives as the pipe organ reaches full
crescendo and the stately wedding march begins. Everyone rises and looks toward the door
for their first glimpse of the bride. Suddenly there is a horrified gasp. The wedding
party is shocked. The groom stares in embarrassed disbelief. Instead of a lovely woman
dressed in elegant white, smiling behind a lace veil, the bride is limping down the aisle. Her dress is soiled and torn. Her leg seems twisted. Ugly
cuts and bruises cover her bare arms. Her nose is bleeding, one eye is purple and swollen,
and her hair is disheveled. Does not this handsome groom deserve better than this?”
Alas, His bride THE
CHURCH has been fighting
again!”
[Karen Mains, The
Keys to a Loving Heart, pp. 143-144]
The world
has a field day watching the church fight and quarrel, often for the silliest of reasons.
Just such
a condition existed in the church
at Corinth (1 Corinthians 6:1-8) “Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before
the unrighteous, and not before the saints? (2) Do you not know that the saints will judge
the world? And if the world will be judged by you, are you unworthy to judge the smallest
matters? (3) Do you not know that we shall judge angels? How much more, things that
pertain to this life? (4) If then you have judgments concerning things pertaining to this
life, do you appoint those who are least esteemed by the church to judge? (5) I say this
to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you, not even one, who will be
able to judge between his brethren? (6) But brother goes to law against brother, and that
before unbelievers! (7) Now therefore, it is already an utter failure for you that you go
to law against one another. Why do you not rather accept wrong? Why do you not rather let
yourselves be cheated? (8) No, you yourselves do wrong and cheat, and you do these things
to your brethren!”
Paul maintains that Christians should be
able to resolve their conflicts without having to parade their dirty laundry before an
unbelieving world. In fact Paul goes so far as to say that we should rather be wronged
than to bring a stain on the Lord and his church by making our conflict public.
In the
matter of the disagreement between the two women in the church at Philippi, it could mean
that they were to completely resolve the matter by coming to some sort of agreement. It
could mean that they would have to agree to disagree about the matter and set aside their
personal differences for the good of the Church. In any case, the unity of the church is
to be their highest concern.
But what are we are to do if we desire
to end a conflict and we just cannot come to an agreement.
Third, Sometimes You Need Help In
Resolving A Conflict. There is of course the underlying assumption that both of
these women want to work things out. Paul says in verse three - “help …these women.”
Paul is not too proud to call on help. He sought out the help of (Syzygus).
This Greek word can be taken either as a proper name or as a descriptive noun here
translated “true companion.” Whichever is the
case, He is called upon by Paul to be a mediator in this
conflict to help restore unity in the fellowship at Philippi. He is reminded to not to
lose sight of who these women are. They were fellow laborers in the battle.
The clearest example of the principle of
a third party mediator is given in Matthew 18:15-16, “If a
fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him--work it out between the two of you. If he
listens, you've made a friend. (16) If he won't listen, take one or two others along so
that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again.”
The
truth is that most of us would do anything to keep from stepping into the middle of a
personal disagreement. Our fear is that the result will only be that “both”
parties are mad at us. Have you ever watched one of those “Cop Reality Shows”
where the police are called out to break up a domestic disturbance, and when the police
try to break up the fight they both turn on the policemen. That is what we are afraid will
happen to us!
Yet as
Christians we may be called upon to act as the “comrade”
to assist in reconciliation and when we do the objective is threefold the ultimate goal - is Restoration, the overall attitude - is Grace,
and the common ground - is Christ. Part of Christian service is the willingness to
negotiation, conflict resolution and peacemaking.
Considering the Lessons
REMEMBER
It
destroys relationships between believers
It
disrupts the unity of the fellowship
It
displays a bad example to a lost world
3. Sometimes those involved in a conflict may need third party mediator. You need to be willing to be such a peacemaker.